I WAS woken last weekend by a screeching drill across the road. Fair enough if you want to do a bit of home reno but not on a Sunday morning at 7.30.
Due to acoustics, given the height and proximity of terraced houses in our street, even the quietest noise reverberates. A conversation across the road is audible, so it can be presumed the fellow understood the implications of pouring such an unsavoury cacophony into the street. I guess when you gotta drill, you gotta drill.
But I was very distressed. I work all day; I’m at uni all night; and in between I help my daughter with her homework. I cook, clean and keep my teeth flossed. I try to stay toned, and not walk around with a skunk line down the middle of my hair because I haven’t got time for my L’Oreal grease and oil change. To do all this, the one thing I need is my Sunday morning sleep-in.
But it’s not just this story that has me on the hop. It’s insensitive neighbours in general who do my head in with their blaring music and yelling goodbyes at 2am, and their poor ol’ dogs who spend the day protesting imprisonment. The smell coming from surrounding homes can be excruciating. In summer the air is thick with barbecue smells, which for a vegetarian is hard going. But this time of year there are the fireplaces. Burning wood smells lovely to me, but according to reports it’s one of the most toxic things we can breathe. And even my doorstop doesn’t prevent it seeping in.
Pollution is everywhere around us. Supermarkets now spew candy smells from air vents; teenagers wear cheap perfume; people scream on mobile phones in restaurants and on trains; billboards leer at us. It’s sensual overload. I just want to come home and feel safe and immunised from it all. Our neighbours must feel that way too. So how can some people be so selfish? My girlfriend lives next door to heavy smokers and the fumes waft up the wall of her terrace to the extent that she can’t have the windows open. And what about people who park with their engines on while they chat?
I could utter a whole lot of expletives here, but I’m going to suggest this. For selfish and noisy neighbours like the drilling bloke down the street – this is your punishment. I vote we tie you to a chair and play Celine Dion’s Titanic theme My Heart Will Go On loudly into your ears for eight hours solid. Or maybe the theme of Sesame Street, which was used in Guantanamo Bay as torture, according to a recent ABC documentary. Maybe my readers can suggest better songs?
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