Envy is our best friends. It can tell us what we really want under all that resentment, so we can go get it
SEVERAL years ago, I noticed I was feeling very unfavourable towards a certain friend.
Every time I talked to her, I felt out of sorts. I began noticing things I didn’t like and avoided talking to her.
Because I like to self-reflect, I gave the matter some thought. Why was I suddenly pulling away from someone I dearly loved? And it came to me. Jealousy.
Rather than let the friendship go, I decided to list all the things that were making me feel jealous of her. And only one came up.
Although she is gorgeous and very talented, my red light was that she travelled a lot for work. Just back from London, just off to Paris, just back from Vietnam, just off to America. I wanted to slap dat bi-atch down.
Funnily, possessions, beauty, women with great bodies, jewels, money have always left me cold. I only ever wanted to travel, my truest passion. But hard times, child rearing and commitments made it so difficult. I never admitted the degree to which I had become resentful.
I decided that rather than push my friend away I would put travel back into my life and stop making excuses. Money always gets prioritised. There are ways to arrange child care or take a child travelling. I would just make some tough decisions, which is how I ended up floating down the Ganges in Varanasi, India, with a five-year-old babe in my arms.
Envy is not a sin, it’s a gift. And now I encourage my friends to use this technique. If you dislike someone, look for signs of the green-eyed monster and if it’s there, great! Make a jealousy list.
1 Angelina Jolie because she’s got fat lips
2 Kylie Minogue because she still looks 15
3 My brother Jake because he’s musical
4 My cat Bubbles because he’s free to roam
5 Gordon Ramsay because he’s got so much hair
Then do or have as many of the things as possible.
Yes, get a facelift if it will make you feel better; get a boob job or hair transplant. Go take up sax (or sex) and see if you can find a hidden talent. Stop denying yourself things that mean so much to you that not having them is making you bitter and twisted.
There are things you’re simply not going to get, but doubling your boon can only be a good thing. Read magazines, go see friends, and make an “I just wanna punch your lights out” list. And bingo, there’s your next inspiration.
Share your jealousy list with me.
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